Loss, hurt and love
by evincis
Summary: A story written when the Vancity pictures of the filming of Selfless, Brave and True came out. The end is adapted to what really happened in the episode. But he is what I wished would happen at the time. Please read and Review. Wooden Swan.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or any of these characters. This story is for entertainment purposes only and has no commercial aim. Please do not publish without my explicit consent_

_AN/ This is something that came to mind when I saw the newest Vancity filming shots. Potential spoilers for 2x18. Since I wrote this weeks ago, Cora is still alive. I adapted the ending so as to encompass what happened in the latest episode but the beginning was left untouched (with very small exceptions). I also added the scene between David and Emma. _

"This man separated you." Tamara said. "How can you be looking for him?"

"Stay out of this. It doesn't concern you." Emma snapped. "He tried to warn me about something and I need to know what."

"Emma, Tamara is right." Neal said. "I don't understand. How can you want to help him when he is the reason..."

"That I ended up in jail?" Emma finished for him. "If I recall correctly, you were the one who left me. Or would you prefer that we'd both gone to prison for identity theft and illegal immigration?"

"I was young." Neal tried to answer. "I made a mistake."

"Young? You were 200 years old. August was 25."

"Why are you defending him? He took your mother's place in the wardrobe, intervened in your life." Tamara intervened again.

"Didn't I tell you to stay out of this?" Emma shot her a look filled with anger. "Before the curse broke, I had one ally against Regina. One. The only person who came looking for me and Mary Margaret when Jefferson kidnapped us. (_AN/ I know that these scenes where cut but I'd like to acknowledge them_.) The only person who dared break into Regina's house with me although he knew perfectly well that she was capable of having him killed. He almost died because I couldn't break the curse in time. And he is still trying to help us all. He made mistakes but he's been trying to fix them ever since he came to Storybrooke. Don't tell me that he doesn't deserve to be found."

"Any news?" Emma turned around and saw David, Marco and Mary Margaret approach.

"No. Did you find his bike?" She asked.

"Behind the diner." David explained. "Marco has all of his personal belongings."

"We found this." Snow handed Emma an envelope. "It's addressed to you."

"No time to read it now. Did you get his hat and the tracking potion from Gold?"

"Here." David handed her the bottle and Marco gave her the little red hat that Pinocchio once wore.

"Emma look out." She turned around and saw a … yes a puppet with the size of a grown man running toward her.

"August?"

"Duck down. NOW!" He shouted. As she obeyed she noticed a ball of fire pass right next to her.

"Hello, my darlings." Cora made her way to them. "Did you miss me? I thought so. Well, well, well, isn't that a nice family reunion?"

"What do you want, Cora?" Snow asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just the location of the beanstalk that you planted. I know that you have hidden it with magic. I want my beans. After all, I was the one who brought you the giant."

"In your dreams." David answered, ready to act.

"Really? In that case…"

For Emma, the next couple of seconds happened in slow motion. Cora let two balls of fire in each hand and threw them their way. Seeing one of them directed at her parents, Emma acted on instinct and she somehow managed to send the fireball back at Cora, who disappeared in a blue smoke.

"That was close." Mary Margaret got up. "Everyone, ok?"

"Yeah." Emma and David answered.

"Come over here, fast." A panicked voice made them turn around.

What Emma saw when she turned away paralyzed her for a minute. Neal was lying on the floor, August on top of him, his back vividly burning.

"What happened?"

"He knocked me out of the way." Neal says. "He saved my life."

"And now, he might lose his." The fear in Marco's voice made Emma snap out of her own paralysis. She saw David take out his own jacket and put out the fire on August's back but the damage had been already done.

"My boy." Marco ran to his son and took him in his arms. "My dear boy."

"Fa… Father." August barely managed to say.

"Don't talk. Save your strength." Emma said. "Someone get Gold or the Blue Fairy." She was re-living the moments when she had seen August turn back to wood in the B&B. The panic that she was feeling made her realize just how much she had grown to care about August. Despite what she had learned about him. But now, she was going to lose him forever.

"Emma. I… am … so sorry." August said through the pain. "Neal… ok?"

"I'm fine, man. Thank you."

"Good. You two… will be … happy." August's lips formed a smile.

"August, don't let go."

"Need … warn you…." He wasn't making sense any more. "I… love…" He eyes closed before he could finish. Emma felt the tears come down her cheeks.

"No!" Marco let out a loud cry hugging his son's body. "Not again."

"Is he dead?" Neal asked.

"Not yet. Today he did the most unselfish thing that anyone could do. He made the ultimate sacrifice for the people that he cared about. I still may be able to help." The Blue Fairy leaned forward, sprinkled August's body with fairy dust and made a gesture with her want. A bright light came out of the wooden body.

"Father?" Emma heard the voice of a small child.

"Pinocchio?" Marco was amazed. Instead of a dead wooden puppet, he was holding a very much alive 7 year old boy. The old man hugged his son.

"Father. Where are we?"

"Pinocchio, what is the last thing that you remember?" The Blue Fairy asked.

"Father and I were building the wardrobe that would protect Princess Emma. And you came and told us that I couldn't go. But then father said that I had to save myself and that it was ok to lie to protect a person that we love."

"Do you remember coming out of the wardrobe?" Marco asked.

"No."

"Oh my…" Mary Margaret gasped. "You turned him into a child."

"Am I in trouble? Jiminy told me that I have to be truthful, brave and unselfish and will be a real boy."

"Of course. A real _boy_. Not man." The Blue fairy said. "I did make him real. But a real boy."

"Can you undo this?" Emma finally managed to say. She realized that her voice scared the child.

"Marco, why don't you take your son home? Let's not scare him." Snow suggested. "We'll sort this out."

"Thank you, your highness." Marco got up. "I will be here as soon as I can. I want to help fix this. My son would have wanted to. Especially now that he…" The old man looked at Emma.

"I know." The Blue Fairy intervened. "But there is no point in burdening him now." With that Marco took the boy by the hand and left.

"Do you really think that we can fix him?" Neal asked. The Blue Fairy looked away.

"You have to. There has to be a way." Emma said in a trembling voice.

"Oh my God. You love him." Tamara commented.

"I…" Emma wasn't one to voice her feelings but the sight of losing August again had made her realize that these feelings were very much real. "We have to fix it."

Emma turned away and saw August's purple bandana on the floor. She picked it up and brought it to her face. "I will find a way. I promise."

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"Hey" David knocked on her door later that day. "May I come in?"

"Sure." Emma answered.

"I brought cocoa" David entered the room.

"Thank you for being concerned, but I don't want to talk." She tried to push him away knowing the real reason why he was there.

"You shouldn't keep all the hurt inside. If you don't want to talk to me, fine. But at least talk with Mary Margaret. Or go to Archie."

"David, I'm fine."

"You aren't. You are hurting and we can all see it." He said. "I know that it is difficult to talk about feelings that you haven't fully realized yet but talking about it helps. Trust me."

"I'm the most selfish person in the world." She finally broke down. David approached her and sat next to her. He decided not to say anything and allow Emma to let her feelings out. It was very rare for them to talk and he didn't want to force her to voice anything that she didn't want to. "He has a second chance. He has the chance to grow up with his father. I should be happy for him."

"Can I ask you something?" David looked at her. "Do you wish that you could have the same chance too?"

"David…" Emma hadn't realized how all this had affected her parents. "All my life. But not any more. Don't get me wrong, I wish that I could have grown up with you guys but things are different now. You said it yourself. There are things that I wish had been different in my life but… those things make me who I am. Going back to being a baby will just mean to hide my head in the sand."

"Then maybe you shouldn't feel guilty about wishing that August was here as an adult." David said. True that he didn't approve of what the man had done all these years but he believed in second chances. Especially when they meant making his daughter happy.

"It's not the same and you know it." Emma said.

"Why not?" David couldn't believe whose side he was taking. He was supposed to keep men away from her not push her in their direction. But he was, as Snow liked to put it, a hopeless romantic. "How do you know that this is the best for him? How do you know that he would have preferred to be a 7 year old to the alternative?"

"All he ever wanted was to make his father proud. And now he has that chance. He has the chance to start over. Erase the mistakes from the past."

"But didn't these mistakes make him the person that you know? The person that you fell in love with?"

"I didn't say…" Her father gave her a look. "That obvious, eh?" He nodded. "You're right. His mistakes were part of him but I couldn't possibly take away from him the chance of a fresh start. And if that isn't then what is?"

"You." David simply said.

"What?" Emma was startled. "What do you mean?"

"Come downstairs. The Blue Fairy wants to speak with you." David said and got up. "Trust me."

Emma got up from her bed, wiped the tears from her eyes and made her way down the stairs.

"All right. What is this about?" She was on the defensive as she always was when it came to her feelings.

"I did not want to talk in Geppetto's presence because he is so happy to have his son back but you were right when you said that we have to fix this. August shouldn't have turned into a 7 year old."

"Why?" Henry asked coming in with Mary Margaret.

"Because he and Emma cannot be separated." Mother Superior explained. "When I tried to stop Gepetto from sending Pinocchio through the wardrobe I hadn't realized that but now I know. They had to get here together."

"Get to your point." Emma snapped et her.

"Like I told your father, you and August are linked. Not by magic but by love and destiny. He had to come here with you in order to protect you. Like he did today. I hadn't realized that connection before your farewell earlier today. You may have never admitted your love to one another but it is there."

"They'll be lost without each other." Mary Margaret said knowing all too well the feeling. Whenever she had been separated from David, she'd felt lost. The Blue Fairy nodded.

"He told me what he did in Phoenix. His methods were wrong but he meant well. And everything that he's been doing here, he's done for you. He wanted to change in order to be worthy of you." No one knew what to say. "Without you, he will probably grow up to make the same mistakes."

"What will happen now?" Snow asked fearing the answer.

"They will walk this earth looking for their other halves never finding them. I hadn't realized how important it had been that they both be saved from the curse. Pinocchio going through the wardrobe avoided a situation in which Emma would grow up while he would stay a boy for 28 years. It avoided this." Emma didn't know how to respond. She and August should have grown up together. He would have been her first love. Her first kiss. Probably her first heartbreak. They could have been happy. Now everything was screwed because of the curse. Everything was twisted by this entire situation. August was 7. He was a child. This was sick. That last thought made her feel physically sick and she ran to the bathroom followed closely by her mother.

"We have to fix this." David said with determination.

"Indeed." The Blue Fairy confirmed.

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For the next month, Emma and the Blue Fairy had worked on different strategies on how to get August back to… Well, back to how he was supposed to be. In the same time, Snow had tricked Regina to kill her own mother in order to save Rumplestilstkin. She was now struggling with her actions.

"Maybe if we went back in our land, I can help more. Here, I don't dare experimenting with magic any more." The Blue Fairy said.

"We don't have time to wait for the beans to grow. The more time passes, the less chance we have to get him back." Emma turned the pages of yet another spell book. "I need some air." She got up and went out of the library. She made her way to the diner and sat down at one of the tables on front. A wave of cold wind came her way and she put her hands in her pocket. She felt a piece of paper inside. She took it out and she realized that it was the letter that August had written for her. She has refused to read it because reading it meant accepting that this was goodbye and that she would never see him.

"Why are you sad?" She heard a boy's voice. She looked up and saw little August approach her. It was creepy. No it was twisted and sick. He was 7 for crying out loud.

"I… I miss someone." How could she talk to 7 year old August about 35 year old August?

"Who?" The boy asked with innocent eyes. _You._ She wanted to say.

"A friend." She took a deep breath. "In his own way, he was my guardian angel. He didn't always make the right decisions but always had good intentions."

"Did you love him?" The boy asked. _So August was so nosy even as a kid. Of course he was nosy, he was Pinocchio._ Emma took a deep breath. She looked the boy in the eyes and recognized, somewhere there, August. Her heart broke knowing that she would probably never see him again.

"Yes." She answered after a while. It was the first time that she had ever spoken about it out loud. "I did. But I realized it too late."

"Did you tell him?" The boy asked again.

"No. He never knew how I felt. And now he never will." Emma took a deep breath.

"I am sorry." The boy sat next to her "Are you sure that you can't get him back? Prince David once told me once that true love is the most powerful magic of all. And that if you really love someone, you will always find them."

"It's a little more complicated than that." She said sadly.

"Don't lose faith. Father told me that you are not like normal people. You have magic. Magic saved my life. Maybe it can help you. If you have faith." It was like hearing August again. She couldn't fight the tears any more and they rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. Did I say something to upset you?"

"No. It's just… It's what Au… my friend would say."

"I have to go. My father will be worried. Can I at least give you a hug?" Emma hesitated. It was too painful to hug August without really hugging him. He was 7 for crying out loud. But the look in the kid's eyes, the puppy eyes that August used to make, made her agree.

"Sure."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't help." The boy said as he hugged her. _You did. More than you know._ She thought ready to say goodbye forever. As he pulled away the boy kissed her cheek. It was a sweet innocent kiss but Emma could feel that he was trying to comfort her. "I love you." She thought so hard that she almost whispered it. All of a sudden she was pushed back by a blast of magic.

"What the hell?" She swore.

"Emma?" Could it be? Was that August's voice?

"August?" She looked in the direction of the voice and saw a full-grown August sitting on the floor.

"Yeah. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Is that really you?"

"Yeah. Wait. I'm real again?"

"You have been for… " Emma couldn't believe it. "Wait, you don't remember?"

"Give me a sec… It's all coming back to me." August stood up and took a breath. "Cora was throwing fireballs. You managed to redirect the one that was about to hit your parents but the other one was going to hit Neal…"

"So you pushed him out of the way."

"Yeah. And then… My father was crying… The Blue Fairy was running… And… then I … Why do I have memories of being 7 again."

"Because you were. For about a month. When she saved you, the Blue Fairy made you a boy again."

"Right. It all makes sense now." August was glad that he wasn't crazy.

"But now… How come…" Emma didn't want to question this but she needed to understand why.

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes." August took her hand. "It has to be."

"But I didn't do anything." Emma said.

"Yes, you did. The only reason I jumped in front of Neal was so that you can be happy. And seeing you so suffer, it made my sacrifice vain. I couldn't take it for you to suffer like that."

"August. I was mad at you. I really was."

"I know." He touched her face with his hands.

"But losing you. Losing you again. I couldn't. I have never felt like this for anyone in my life." She cried. "I have never had feelings for someone when I should have been objectively mad at them."

"Emma…"

"Please, let me finish." She put a finger on his lips. This was it. The first time in her life when she would voice feelings out loud. "I almost missed my chance to tell you this. I'm not missing it again. You almost died trying to save my happiness when you are it. My mother was right: I did put up walls to protect myself from being hurt. But you somehow made your way in. I didn't even realize how or when. And even after Neal told me what happened in Phoenix, I couldn't kick you out. You had already found a place in my heart. It wasn't until your father was holding your dead body, and after you told me that you loved me that I realized that I felt this way."

"Oh Emma." He stroked her hair. "I am so sorry for causing you so much pain. I owe you so much."

"It's in the past." She said. "You proved that you are a good person. You protected me and my family."

"Emma, I just remembered, I need to tell you…" August remembered why he had been running in town that day.

"Tamara. I know. She was here to steal the magic and wanted you out of town because you were the only person who knew that." Emma said. "She was working with Cora and she was the one to arrange that Cora would be at the town hall that day. The second ball of fire wasn't meant for Neal. It was meant for you."

"What happened to her?" He asked.

"Don't worry about her." She answered. He smiled.

"I heard about Cora. My father was discussing it with Archie." He said with a compassionate tone. "How is your mother?"

"She's going through a rough time." Emma said. August saw her expression change. He had just reminded her of something dark which threatened her life.

"Understandable." He said. "She will manage. She is the person with the purest heart that anyone in this town has seen. And she has you. And your father. And Henry."

"I hope so." She buried her face in his neck. "Speaking about Henry, he will be very excited to see you. He's in the station with David. Do you want to pay him a visit?"

"Sure. Why not." He smiled. "But first, there is something I have to do. Something that I have wanted to do ever since I rolled my bike in Storybrooke."

"What?" Emma asked intrigued by the smile on his face.

"This." He said as he cupped her face in his hands. He stroked her hair. He ran his fingers on her forehead, her cheek. He stroked her nose and touched her lips. Emma felt her heartbeat accelerate from the anticipation. She closed her eyes and waited for him to close the distance between them. He slightly brushed his lips against hers as if to make sure that she was really there. That she was real. Emma could feel her heartbeat accelerate even more. She couldn't take this any more. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer intesifyig the kiss. Her tongue begged for access, which he gladly granted. August rapped his hands around her making sure that she couldn't escape his embrace. Eventually, they broke the kiss out of need for air. August continued to lay kisses all over her face savoring finally being able to hold her so close.

"August." She whispered.

"Mhm."

"Would you have preferred to stay a boy and re-live your life with your father?" Even after everything that the Blue Fairy told her, she still wanted to hear it from him.

"And lose you? Never in a million years." He kissed her forehead. "I have a long and hard road of redemption ahead of me. But having you and my father, I will do my best to be a good person. I want to make my father proud. And I want to make you happy. You know what makes it easier, though?"

"What?" She snuggled even more in his embrace.

"I have something worth fighting for. I just hope that one day I will be worthy of you." He buried his face in her hair and they remained in this position. They were finally reunited. They had many issues to discuss but they knew that it was worth it because they were finally together. August knew that Emma was the source of the courage and determination that he needed to be who he was always supposed to be. And Emma hadn't felt such strong feelings for any man in her life and finally understood the power of true love that her parents kept telling her about.

_AN/ Please leave a comment. _


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